It felt like true love until

... you were friend-zoned

It seemed all real. The stares like your eyes are glued to each other, your hands perfectly fit his, his jokes you burst out into laughter, his scents it smells like angel, his smiles it melts your heart out and his hands around your waist, even carrying you with a pun to throw you out the porch and you both laugh together, you get tears of joy you wished it would last forever..

You always want to be beside him, be with him. When he is away, you longed for that moment the door opens and there he goes, his adorable face and his voice echoed in the house calling your name like you want to hear it over and over again.


You get too comfortable, you began to see his worth, his personality rocks, you felt something you've never felt before. You want to tell him you love him. You were scared because you never did this before in your entire life. But you did anyway, out of shame. It's the foolest feeling ever but it felt like you were relieve telling him how you really feel.

You were like a friend to me, a sister, he uttered. You fell on your knees. Your world collapse. There is nothing left but a broken heart insanely still loving him. Quite Sob. Everything seems gray. No more rainbows. The earth seems like its rapture days. You forced a smirk knowing it would feel better. It still wont. You want to scream, as loud as you can under the pouring rain.

Why does it hurt so bad? You asked. You curse the world why the universe trapped you in a unrequited love situation. Why love is overrated, it makes you devastated? You didn't even plan this shit, you didn't even believe in love. You never wanted love that's what you want in your life. You wanted to be alone, you were contented being alone spend more time with yourself. Why does he even suddenly appear in the picture, ruined your solitary bliss and turn it into a fantasy lala-fuck-land beyond earth-shattering cutting your heart in two.

Irreversible, incurable, damaged, hopeless and damnit beyond repair

He never did anything wrong to you, he just did the right thing, of what he feels but so did you. He said he never meant to hurt you but no matter how he distant himself, no matter what he say, he knew you will be hurt. This doesnt make you loathe him as He will always leave a special mark in your heart.

Yet, You promise yourself you will never love the same way ever again.

Cause it stings like hell and you were right all along, true love doesn't have a happy ending.

Not in this life time.

Ever.

Dark Clouds gathered in the sky

... and the rain falls down

Droplets of rain splattered against the backseat window.

"Knock Knock" My knuckles hit the window almost before the driver started the engine.

Can I join? I asked almost begging.

Sure, the two IBmers slash vietnamese girls nodded.

And just like that, I don't need to walk in the rain to hail a cab.

Tieng viet lingers on my ears, No. I'm no where in Vietnam. Unfathomable but it aims to break the deafening silence. Well, Almost!

There's no chance that the rain will stop. Not a even a slightest clue.

It breaks my heart. The weather is too depressing.

Somehow, i looked at the bright side... I've gained new friends and for the first time in history. I was too early, way too earlyyy for my shit. I mean shift.

Saturday

… Don’t you dare end so soon!

I smirked as I clutched the bed covers to my chin. Today, I won’t struggle to fight with my alarm clock. That battle to wrestle the urge to hit the snooze has finally ended momentarily. It’s Saturday and I don’t need to get out of my bed like the flash encountering an alarming call from the Justice League.  

I woke up at ten, cleaned my room, washed my clothes and decorated the Eiffel Tower Wall Sticker I bought yesterday at Japan Homes.

And Voilaaaaa…..

Eiffel Tower Sticker on my bedroom wall. ;)

If only I can teleport to this touristy Icon on my wall.

Meantime, I’m off to a children's Party.

Au Revoir!

A Bientot,

Ces’t La Vie

Craving

... Will I be satisfy?

I dragged my feet unto the stairs and entered the most familiar place with it's customary smell. I sat near the open window and puffed my Marlboro red adding more heat to the area like satan slowly punishing a sinner into the realm of inferno and on a contrary the everyday food seems to be served in heaven. A 2nd haven I declared to none.

Putra: Helloooo!! long time no see lah
Me: Hey, I was on vacation
Putra: the usual?
Me: Not unless you have something that will knock off the usual?

They call it Daging Goreng Kunyit (Beef Tumeric). I could live eating this for days months and hell no for a year! Who am I kidding? In an intelligent city which is famous as Cyberjaya there could only be a handful of restaurants and food stalls in the area and one of my personal choice is "Indo Cafe". They served indonesian food and its a walking distance to my abode.

I haven't realized I'm a regular customer until they noticed my absence for 2 months.

The beef kunyit never failed to excite my taste buds. 

I'll keep coming back ;)

Xoxo,

Beef kunyit lover

The sorrow

... will it ever go away?

Melancholy strikes again like a wad of clay ready to be sculpted and exhibited into the world of demise. Counting the days gone by, living in a Muslim country for more than a year - Malaysia being my home never brought me loneliness until today. Must be the distance from my loved ones, missing the boyfriend and away from friends perhaps? But this isn't me. Home sickness isn't part of my vocabulary and it haven't creep into my heart's door for ages.

Can somebody just stab me right into my chest. Let me bleed and stopppppp.. I know where this leads to, being a drama queen has never brought me any good.

Sometimes, i just want to run away, never look back and start all over again.


The emo who doesn't cut herself,
Ces't La Vie

Vietnam - Cambodia - Thailand Backpacking

Am I ready?

In the next couple of days, I'll embark on a solo backpacking trip to Ho Chi Minh, Siem Reap and Bangkok.

This is going to be the first time that I'll be traveling solo to 3 countries for 9 days. It's kind of a rush I know but I only have those 9 days leave and I can't afford to apply for more days.

I'm a bit nervous and excited at the same time. I really hope I can do this.

Wish me luck.